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GUIDANCE COUNSELOR'S OFFICE - DAY Kat now sits before Miss Perky. KAT I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls. MISS PERKY The point is Kat -- people perceive you as somewhat ... MISS PERKY (continuing) You might want to work on that Kat rises from her chair with a plastic smile matching the counselor's. Shakespeare makes him a bit daunting, but I'm sure you're all doing your best.

By the way, Bobby Rictor's gonad retrieval operation went quite well, in case you're interested. She grimaces, as if she's referring to a medical condition. Bianca looks up and smiles the smile of Daddy's little girl.

She kisses him on the cheek WALTER Hello, precious. BIANCA Is there even a question that we want her to stay?

Can a man even grab a sandwich before you women start dilating? WALTER (to Sharon; as he leaves) You're not helping. TUTORING ROOM - DAY Cameron sits with an empty chair beside him. BIANCA Not the hacking and gagging and spitting part.

HALLWAY - DAY- CONTINUOUS Prom posters adorn the wall. The beautiful people pass, in full jock/cheerleader splendor. MICHAEL (continuing) Derek - save some for after lunch, bub? CAFETERIA - DAY - CONTINUOUS Loud music and loud students. MICHAEL I could start with your haircut, but it doesn't matter. I guess that does it for our analysis of The Old Man and the Sea.

Someday I'll be sipping Merlot while those guys -- He points to the table of jocks, as they torture various passers-by. Cameron is smitten CAMERON That girl -- I -- MICHAEL You burn, you pine, you perish? MISS PERKY Well, yes, compared to your other choices of expression this year, today's events are quite mild. I believe "heinous bitch" is the term used most often. Stratford, do you care to comment on what you've read so far? TEACHER Mandella -- since you're assisting us, you might as well comment. MANDELLA Uh, yeah, I read it all TEACHER The whole play^ MANDELIA The whole folio. TEACHER (disbelieving) You've read every play by William Shakespeare? KAT Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action. a waif-like senior girl who sits off to the side trying to slit her wrist with the plastic spiral on her notebook, looks up and raises her hand. The stunned teacher doesn't answer and goes to call on the next student. SCHOOL COURTYARD - DAY Mandella and Kat sit down in the quiet corner. Doesn't respond ANOTHER ANGLE Michael and Cameron observe Joey's leers at Bianca from their bench in another corner. The BELL rings, and the cowboys stand and spit into their empty bean cans. my Mom's from Canada MICHAEL Guess who just signed up for a tutor? KAT The people at this school are so incredibly foul. MANDELLA That's a charming new development Kat doesn't answer, but reaches over and puts a tape in the tape deck. As they pull out, Michael crosses in front of them on his moped. A shelf next to her holds several bodice-ripper romance novels, bearing her name. I wish I could say he's a moron, but he's number twelve in the class. Mostly regional stuff, but he's rumored to have a big tube sock ad coming out. Cameron watches as Bianca flounces back into the building. SCHOOL PARKING LOT - DAY Kat and Mandella walk toward Kat's car. Mandella ties a silk scarf around her head, as if they're in a convertible. They watch Joey's car as he slows next to Bianca and Chastity as they walk toward the school bus. Bianca and Chastity can't get in Joey's car fast enough. BACK TO KAT AND MANDELLA Mandella lowers her sunglasses to watch. Michael putters off, leaving Cameron dodging Patrick's grimy, grey Jeep -- a vehicle several years and many paint jobs away from its former glory as a REGULATION MAIL TRUCK - - as he sideswipes several cars on his way out of the lot. STRATFORD HOUSE - DAY SHARON STRATFORD, attractive and focused, sits in front of her computer, typing quickly. You're venturing far past daytime talk show fodder and entering the world of those who need very expensive therapy. CAMERON Why do girls like that always like guys like that? Their mothers liked guys like that, and their grandmothers before them. KAT "Undulating with desire, Adrienne removes her crimson cape, revealing her creamy --" WALTER STRATFORD, a blustery, mad scientist-type obstetrician, enters through the front door, wearing a doctor's white jacket and carrying his black bag.

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