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The difference is that the latter type believes that dating can lead to finding someone with whom he connects on multiple levels.

He not only believes it, but desires it and usually dates with that in the back of his mind.

We asked three men who have extensively explored dating and/or relationships — a TV matchmaker, sexologist and author — to weigh in on dating in the 21st century to find a mate, its challenges, and attitudes and practices to successfully achieve that goal. Kissing, for example, can truly establish how two people are passionate about each other, and that still leaves a little mystery." He advises investing the time in the dating process to discover compatibility on different levels, resisting the urge to rush the process from coffee date to sex.

"That question of 'Hey, do you eventually want to get married? "That's a real game-changer." The absence of legally-sanctioned marriage, which society gives considerable significance, affected dating in ways that some are just beginning to understand. If you're only breaking up with your boyfriend, that doesn't sound as consequential as divorcing. He suggests distinguishing between apps and websites that are used for a quick fling — profiles with "shirtless, headless torsos" — and those designed for dating.Sexologist and marriage/family therapist Winston Wilde also sees this reflected in his practice, the Desert Center for Sexuality Awareness in Rancho Mirage."Almost all of my gay clients are in relationships," he says."We've never been able to go past a certain square on the Monopoly board," Cruz explains. "When a guy puts in the effort to fill out a lengthy profile, answer questions and pay for membership, those are guys serious about dating," he adds."We've only been able to date — and maybe date forever. But online dating sites are just one way for singles to put themselves out there, Cruz says.Making the distinction requires considering how and why you date.

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